ONE STEP FORWARD; TWO STEPS BACK

I'm sitting here at the library listening to my iTunes with a ridiculous crossfade and putting everything else off in my life. I figure now is as good a time as ever to post a new blog.

Before we get to business I wanted to do some quick house cleaning. LOBO and I are giving this as much attention as we can and we're now on Facebook, as basically all of you know. Marcus Darpino of Mental Poison fame has kindly helped us get the name out there and build up a small Facebook following. I'm sure you already know this, but you can check his entertainment out at

http://www.mentalpoison.com
http://twitter.com/#!/MentalPoisonRAD , on Twitter.
Also, the daily views are building up and that's a great thing - now all we need you to do is "Follow" the blog. The ultimate goal is to make Saul Good Incorporated a household commodity, and following us is essential to that. With the exception of a few kind souls, our IRL friends just cannot be bothered with following our blog. They'll check it out, but won't follow it. Getting them to follow us is a lost cause, so I'm hoping that our new found growing internet community will be a little more willing to follow us.

With that hippie bullshit out of the way, I just had a couple silly things on my mind that I'd like to talk about.





I have been playing sports video games my entire life, and they have only gotten better with the advent of Superstar mode. For you broads and domesticated males that don't know what that is, it's basically your one chance in life to live out your dream of sports glory. You create an athlete and guide him throughout his career. The more games you play, the more attributes you will acquire. If done correctly and efficiently, you can enjoy being a successful superstar and all of its fruitful benefits. You can beat the Cowboys with Michael Vick. You can catch a Roy Halladay perfect game. You can pass around Lord Stanley's Cup with Chris Pronger and Jaromir Jagr (if you're not picking up any of these Philadelphia sports references, then we are on different wavelengths, and this blog isn't for you). The point is, you no longer have to dream about these things as a hopeful kid; you can virtually live them.
With all of this stated, I'm now going to explain why Superstar mode is the ultimate double-edged sword. Because of all the benefits you get from Superstar mode, you understandably disregard the ultimate kick in the mushroom tip about it - turning it off. That time when you have to stop playing for the night. In every Madden game I own, I am the great white running back who averages 175 yards and 2 TDs a game. I love every second of it. I have a great night of kicking ass for the Eagles and then before I know it, it's 3:00 AM. I save my progress, turn off my game, and realize the harsh reality of things. I'm alone in a dark room in my underpants. I'm overweight and hairy. No missed calls or new text messages. No money in my wallet or in the bank. My parents are ashamed of the man I've become. My best friend? Tequila. My best girlfriend? Nobody. Oh well... at least I can still dream. That's what makes Superstar mode so effective - it's a dream come true, and a hard lesson of life. When I head home, I actually have a big division game against the Redskins. Wish me luck...and I don't mean in the game.

One last thing....Human car wreck Amy Winehouse apparently died from alcohol poisoning. She was surrounded by empty bottles of vodka. According to reports, she was over 5 times the legal limit of inebriation at the time of death. What do I get from this? I wish more people I knew partied like Amy Winehouse.

Have a great day, cunts. Please follow!

Yours,
YAYO

TOP 10 - LOBO VERSION

This isn't normally my style, but it is too. As Mr. Tonezilla already said, this was supposed to be a collaboration dealy, but then we ended up not doing that. So, here's my half of this....

These are a few of my favorite things-

10) Pussy: As much as it pains me to admit it, it's no secret that pussy is...well it's just great. I don't even mean any one thing in specific. Just about every aspect of it makes my day. It isn't fair, but what in this world really is? Regardless, that stuff is awesome. Keep up the good work, ladies.

9) Porn: Not only can porn be utterly hilarious at times (Super Hornio Bros., Edward Penishands), but it keeps pussy in check. Sometimes you ladies get a little too complacent. You all tend to forget that after I bless you with the holy water, unless you want another shot at the title, I am no longer obligated to tolerate bullshit. Not only does porn get the job done more efficiently; but it saves time, money, and patience. If women weren't so feeble-minded about sex in the first place, porn would be useless. Yet here it is at #9.
-A therapist would say that I have a problem with women, but I actually do alright. Who knew?

8) Being James Bond: Unfortunately (or thankfully), this isn't for any untrained moron. However, if you can handle your business, it's rewarding as hell. I'm not saying work for any kind of bullshit government agency (yeah, it helps with all of those little legal quirks such as...laws...but fuck that). Act outside of the law. Get in a gunfight, rob somebody, lie to people, careen down the highway like a goddamn Hollywood chase scene; just live like you have all the answers....and back it up. Constantly shoot the gaps whenever you see them. Rockstars never die...except when they do....but nobody tells stories about the decaying suburban wad working in a cubicle.

7) Gambling: There's a reason it's lucky number seven. Gambling is awesome. Stamp it.

-I feel more words should exist here, but damned if I didn't sum it up perfectly.

6) Random Bouts of Decadence and/or Violence: Ever have one of those nights that can be tracked by large amounts of red pins on a 70's-era montage-map? Nights filled with bar-fights, booze, smoke, strippers, trashed hotel rooms and sporadic gunfire. Nights where you fought the law...and left it in a ditch somewhere. The real American dream.
(See "James Bond".... just sloppier and way less calculated.)

5) Fighting: Whether you are teaching someone a lesson or just enjoying a free show, people fighting are hilarious every time. Once you reach a certain age, brawls become idiotic and a little sad (according to most social norms). However, shit happens. There are people in every day of your life that seem to wear signs around their necks begging to benefit from a solid fucking-up. You are only cheating yourself if you do not oblige them.

4) Booze and Weed: I have these little miracles combined so I don't have to choose which one I like the best. I drink like a fish, smoke like a chimney....and so should you.
4(a)- Dropping E-bombs and riding on roller coasters. Seriously, to hell with sex, roller coasters are what that particular drug is made for. Finish reading this shit later...go find some E and rush to your nearest amusement park. You'll see what I mean.

3) Heavy Metal Music: It can inspire every other thing on this list. Talent, aggresion, sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll. It's the soundtrack to everything fun in life. I would like to see large groups of people lose their fucking minds to coldplay or yanni. Not a chance. Even crappy metal bands are better than 90% of today's pop music. Fact.

2) Guns: They aren't for frivolous use, or they can be (up to personal preference I suppose). Either way, I'll be goddamned if anyone tries to catch me sleeping. I'd always rather just beat the life out you with my bare hands, but if you decide to pull a weapon, I will leave you where you where I see you. With the quickness. Also, if life turns shitty, you at least have options with a gun. Out of money? Not when your backup plan is a gun. Get creative.

1) Me: Seriously. Aside from all of the manic-depression and overly self-destructive tendancies,.......the drinking, the smoking, short temper, total lack of patience and generally shitty attitude; I'm actually not a bad guy. Check it- Physically, I'm a good-lookin' dude. In-shape, athletic, nice hair and funny tattoos. I run like the wind and fuck like a beast. I'm fairly intelligent, though it's mostly based on my ridiculous amounts of experience and not my vast worldly knowledge (...although I do have a vast knowledge of the world).

I'm a musician, writer, combat veteran, and just an all-around fun person to be around. I feel that no one ever wants to give themselves the credit they have earned over the years because it sounds arrogant. Well, sometimes humility can be like lying to yourself. If you've done some cool shit, the only people that won't want to hear your stories are the haters that can't measure up. I like everything I'm about and you should too.


(Disclaimer: Does not apply to everyone. Some of you are just toolboxes. Know your role.)




Now here are some things I kind of hate-

10) Coke: Not the soda. I know I know....she's my favorite little white girl too, but only for the first half of the night. There's a fine line really. The first half of the night you're rockin' n rollin'. Just make sure you fuck who you're going to fuck in those first two quarters, because a totally different team comes out of the tunnel at halftime.

9) Reality TV: Cultural garbage. I'm a goddamn sociopath, but I at least have my self-respect intact. Is your life so horrible that you need to run out the clock on your wasted life by watching random strangers and their idiotic, on-purpose drama? They never even called me back about my audition tape.

8) Politicians: Every last one of 'em is just a crook that is good with loopholes. I offer no way to fix it yet...I just know they are just the scum of the Earth. Trust me, I'm working on it.

7) Good Bands Who Begin to Suck: Metallica comes to mind. Just horrible. I'm all for getting paid, please go on and get yours. But there are obvious limits. Shitty is shitty, and unfortunately, you hear music. (Not to only pick on Rockouttica, there are plenty of offenders)

6) Religion: My invisible man in the sky is cooler than yours. Seriously, I've done a ton of research into religion...but it all just boils down to that eventually. Religion = tomorrow's mythology. Take responsibility for your own bullshit.

5) Shitty Cops: They probably got beat up a lot in highschool, so they need to exercise authority behind a badge and a gun. If I fucked something up, by all means, let 5-0 beat the shit out of me; I probably deserved it. But if you're just having a shitty cop day, I will ruin you. I know ALL of my rights... and I'm kinda smart. You won't win. Which leads me to number 4...

4) Getting Caught: ...for anything really. Big score or small change, getting caught in the act is the absolute worst. Depending on the severity of the situation, you can range from simply embarrassed (haha, whoops!) to contemplating ways to change your life (I really need to get my shit together). Plus people always want to judge you. I get it, I fucked my plan up and got caught; just get to sentencing my ass already. If I hear one more syllable come out of your condescending mouth, there are going to be a few more charges floating around here.

3) Being Broke: I'm talking broooooke. Some people definitely have it worse, but they don't always give a shit. I'm at least trying to make my life work. That added give-a-shit dooms you to an anxiety that'll cripple your soul....because you still have to "maintain" in daily society like its all good. Fuck the homeless, help my ass.

2) Running Out of Bullets: I'm just saying, if you are in a situation where you actually run OUT of bullets....that means you really needed them. Best of luck to you, Macguyver.

1) My Generation: And from the looks of things, the next one too. Most of my peers and 99% of the people younger than me.....are complete morons. Government, music, drugs, mischief, attitude, beliefs....all on the wrong side of bitchmade. My pops is one of the hardest men I've met in my entire life...military drill-sergeants included. He and all of his friends raised me in their image to handle my own business...which is apparently contrary to how everyone else raised their kids. Long to short, people these days just suck crates of dick. Statistically, you probably suck too. I'm not wrong.






That's it, I'm done. I probably meant most of this from the very bottom of my cold, black heart....and balls.

-Sully

TOP 10 - YAYO VERSION

LOBO and I have been planning this blog for a while. We're still trying to figure this shit out so instead of our initial plan of making this blog a joint effort, we're going to post seperate blogs. Be sure to stay tuned for LOBOs.

This is going to be the first of many lists that I will be doing in some of my postings. I figure, why not start at the most basic of lists to give you an idea on who I am and what I'm about. LOBO Sullivan will probably follow suit with his work. I read his list, he read mine, and we both agree that we're on point. The important thing here is that you pay attention to our rankings, because we believe it's the right way to think. That's right, I'm telling you how to lead your life.

So, without further adieu, I give you

JASON'S TOP 10 BEST AND WORST THINGS IN THE WORLD

Ten Best
10. Fried Chicken – Not many things make me more content than a greasy piece of chicken. I’m pretty open to most options; Popeye’s, KFC, Church’s; even them grocery store pre-made shits. My love for fried chicken can (and probably already has) put a dramatic hurtin’ on my cholesterol , but at 26 with my whole life ahead of me to be unhealthy, such concerns are put on the backburner…or should I say, deep fryer.

9. Tequila – The Mexican poison can be clear or gold; chilled or sweaty; salted or limed; a big mistake or a great idea. You either enjoy it or are revolted by it. Tequila has never been a sober choice for me. I have never started my drinking day by saying, “Hornitos and nothing else; let’s go!” It’s usually a decision best made when I’m a few beers deep, or I’ve had some cocktails, or I’ve smoked a little something, or all of the above. The point is, whenever I get a shot inside of me, everything else that pisses me off (see Ten Worst) is eradicated. I’m just a messy exaggeration of my normal self, and life is good. Plus, after a certain amount of tequila, my testosterone will multiply, and girls start noticing me. OLE!

8. Pornography – This is self-explanatory. I don’t need to explain why porn is one of the best things in the world. I’ll just fill up this space by stating an observation – over the past 5 years, free internet porn resources have just been expanding every day. The options are limitless, no matter what your fap of choice is. That’s a beautiful thing.



7. Farting – There are still people in this world that I have known my entire life that are still too embarrassed to fart in front of me. I’m sure you (the reader) can think of someone that won’t even discuss, let alone publicly let out a fart. Maybe YOU are embarrassed by farting. Sure, there’s a time and a place to fart and not to fart, but let’s break it down – it sounds funny, it feels good, its foul smell can be a sign of proud humility or just pride, and, among the right group of people, can generate some laughter and good times. But let’s forget all of this for a second…farting is one of the best things in the world because not only is it a social taboo, but it’s something that we ALL do at least 17 times a day. Don’t fucking lie…just embrace it.

6. Getting Laid – This is a midway point because although sex is one of the greatest natural highs that one can experience, it isn’t everything. Plus, and I am guilty of this, many of us have had sex with someone that we wouldn’t brag about to our buddies. But we still do it, because it feels good, and it’s kinda funny.






5. Getting High – If this were a few years ago, my #5 entry would be #1. I guess time changes people. A drug charge doesn’t help, either. All in all, not many things compare to a peaceful puff.





4. Sports – I wish we made the list longer, because I would love to subcategorize this one and give everything the attention it deserves. Baseball, football, hockey, basketball, boxing, wrestling, MMA –and all of the coverage involved. I live and breathe sports and sports news. If none of my teams are playing, my default channel is ESPN. When most people watch Action News, I watch Sportscenter. When most people listen to the traffic report on the radio, I’m tuned in to WIP. I take pride in my knowledge of sports and statistics, and I love talking sports with anyone and everyone. I used to play, and I can still throw down if need be, but as I get older I’m more into observing and studying. I’d love to be a coach someday. Unfortunately, my resume is dogshit.

3. Black Women – One of my future solo blogs will put all of this into detail. It’s a work in progress because I’m still figuring out how to put it into words. I’m not going to say much about it here, but what I will say is that when you think of interracial romance, you think of other scenarios before you think of a white man preferring a black woman. People always ask me Why I prefer to date outside my race, and I never have a credible answer for them. Why do you like ice cream? Why do you like Pepsi? Why do you like scratching your taint when nobody is looking and then smelling your fingers? The same reason why I prefer black chicks. WE LIKE WHAT WE LIKE.

2. Beer – My relationship with the World’s most versatile drink has never been rocky or tumultuous. Ever since the first drop hit my tongue as a young man, I knew it would be a lifelong friendship. I’ve always enjoyed drinking beer; lots of beer throughout a time period, and it’s a hobby (not addiction) that will follow me until my liver blows up all over my small intestine. After working with beer, I have learned to appreciate all different types from all over the world. I have learned that beer just isn’t the greatest drink in the world; it’s the greatest drink in the world. I’m a broke man currently closing up on a college degree, and all the money that the state loans me has gone to legal fees. Whatever spending money I do have goes to beer. I even cut out cigarettes and gas from my budget so I can continue drinking beer. I’m the greatest beer drinker I know, and a dream of mine has been to get a beer drinking team together. SOME people (most broads) don’t appreciate it, and that’s fine. I know of its importance to the world. I feel like I’m doing it a disservice by not making it #1, but I think I made my point on it. Cheers.

1. Music That I LIKE – Again, if the lists were longer, I could dedicate more time to the best and most important thing in the (MY) world. Old school hardcore punk, thrash metal, death metal, heavy metal, gangsta rap, underground rap, alternative, classic rock, bluegrass, and all 3 waves of ska have helped me get through every day of my life. If it weren’t for music, I don’t know who or what I would be.






Ten Worst

10. Waking up – This isn’t a “Woe is me, I hate being alive” thing, either. The literal act of getting up in the morning is one of the saddest moments in one’s life, as they know that they can no longer go to sleep. It doesn’t matter how great your life is, nobody ever dons a shit-eating grin when the alarm goes off. When you get past waking up, everything can be cool again.

9. Sobriety – I wish I never experienced inebriation, because at this point in my life, I can’t function sober. Sure, there are days and nights when I go without a drink or a puff – but not many. I’m sure if I haven’t blown so much money/decisions on getting fucked up over the past decade, I may be in a different, better place in my life right now. With that stated, I played the sober game for the first 15 or so years of my life, and I have learned over the years that it’s not for me. Being “clear-headed” just isn’t my game. I think Ozzy put it best during one of his first go-arounds with kicking his habit : “Sobriety fucking sucks.” Ozzy is a stronger man than I for fighting his vices, because right now I’m just too young and hard-headed to worry about mine. Fuck being sober.

8. Diarrhea – This is another vintage Yayo example of stating the obvious. Having the Green Apple Splatters is never a good thing. Plus, unlike vomiting or fainting, you don’t feel good immediately after it leaves your body. In some instances, you feel worse. A D-Spell can ruin your entire weekend. Tips on avoiding diarrhea? None, because I love tequila and fried chicken; two great contributors, and voiding that is just too much to ask.




7. Skunks – Verminous, disgusting creatures. If you live in a suburbanized community somewhat near any water source and plenty of land to burrow under, you know all too well about these overgrown, furry rats. I’ve lived in a very skunk-friendly area for a while now, so I have done my research. They can’t see shit, they have a limited amount of sprays, and are terrified by disruptive noise. All in all, if you’re looking to have a backyard bonfire and you live in a skunkzone, you always have to keep an ear and an eye open, because a direct skunk spray to your clothes/skin will RUIN YOU FOR WEEKS.

6. Television – With the obvious exceptions of anything sports, American Dad, or AMC (Original programing actually done right); TV is an absolute waste of time. Read a book or go outside or get drunk. Make some moves in your life. I know you don’t care, but the bullshit you watch is only going to make you a worse person than you already are.



5. Smartphones – I hate the fact that I have to use a cellphone, but I love the fact that it’s a piece of shit. I refuse to have one single gadget that will enable me to order pork chops from Shop Rite and buy a Larry the Cable Guy ringtone at the same time. We have a lot of great technological resources and they should be used wisely, but they’re not. We’re never happy with the amazing devices that we have in our pockets. I hate to sound like a baby boomer, but there was a time when we got our rocks off by playing stickball and beating the shit out of the Middle Eastern kid. Everyone was better off.


4. Clothing – Of course if I wasn’t male, big, slightly hairy and slightly overweight, people other than me would encourage my liberation to nudism. I hate everything about clothes; the way they feel, the way they look, the way they look on others. I even hate the social contract of proper attire; fashion, the latest styles, and all the people who try to emulate and one-up each other by blowing their paychecks at Old Navy, or whereverthefuck. One last thing – if we all have to wear clothes, at least let us wear what we want. If a grown man was walking down my block dressed as Baby Huey, I would salute him and all his kind. You may think he’s a freak, but he’s no different than any of us.




3. Getting Arrested – I used to think that I was invincible. One tiny mistake can fuck up your plate for years. Do you even need me to explain this in any further detail?



2. Nasty Break-Up – I’m man enough to admit when I’m just pounding a hoodrat, or when I’m in love. To those unfortunate fellow fellas (The are no women on the internet) that have invested more than their cock with a woman which then develops into the truest gift in the world; only to have it shattered over petty shit; I feel your pain. There’s no worse feeling in the world than having a girl you feel for tell you that she’s done with you. You may try to get it back, or you take the smart route; swallow hard, pour a shot, swallow harder, and break faces.

1. People – Hipsters, Guidos, Jocks, Juggalos, Mallrats, Prostitutes, Pimps, Johns, Politicians, Religious zealots, Protestors, Activists, Conservatives, Liberals, Gay bashers, Gay supporters, Gays, Whites, Blacks, Hispanics, Asians, Africans, Doctors, Lawyers, Cops, Criminals, Judges, Nazis, Jews, Celebrities, Humanitarians, Philanthropists, Abortionists, Anti-abortionists, Racists, Anti-racists, Writers, Musicians, Rapists, Pedophiles, British, Irish, Italians, Rednecks, Drug dealers, Bikers, Truckers, Street racers, Hunters, Fishers, Teachers, Principals, Students, You, Me, Your parents, My parents, Everyone you know, Everyone I know; and everyone in between, you all make me sick. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Thanks for reading. If you haven't done it yet, please follow us. Stay tuned.

88mph!!!

Time travel is bullshit. Not scientifically, although I am very clueless about space-time continuums or the theological/historical reprocussions of it. I mean that it's bullshit in movies. You know, concepts that don't hurt your brain when you think about them.

Thing is, I talk a big game most of the time, but truthfully, I get annoyed when I'm expected to back up my own shit.

I'm lazy. That's why time travel doesn't make any sense to me. I'm one of those people that has a lot of great ideas....but never seem to get around to anything. Actually, my ideas usually suck, but that doesn't stop me from getting nothing accomplished. Why add another dickhead to the equation simply because he's from the future? Just about every movie with people traveling through time has some sort of way these guys learn a lesson and everything seems to come up great. I don't see that working out in my world.

First of all, if you don't know me, I'm an asshole. Future-me could show up right now and I would probably treat him like a punk. Then he would get pissed off at me like the asshole he is...you see the cycle here. However, being the chill guys that we are, a truce would come around eventually. Now we're buddies....back to getting nothing done. Time to spark a dutch and get down on some cartoons and video games.

Now there's two extremely like-minded assholes sitting around running out the clock on reality. We're humorous and competitive people. Inevitably, we'll get to snapping on each other. You know when you're around friends the best jokes are the ones that hit home. The truth hurts and hurt equals funny. So when Me, Myself and I start throwing shots around; it'll get ugly. Casually enough at first, but I know me. Not only do I know me, I know all of the fucked up things I've done. So our casual back-and-forth will get heated.

-"Dude, you suck at this game."

-"Fuck off. I'm about to bam a rampkin right now o'clock, paunch."

-"Doubtful, asshole. You're predictible as hell. Get some lube...I'm about to do a rape-dance over here."

-"Nah, didn't bring any. I figured I'd just borrow the tube you used on that married bitch while her husband slept in the extra bedroom."

-"......"

-"KO mothafucker!!!"

-"...get fucked."

It was her fault the chump even woke up in the first place. For real. Good luck calling me the bad-guy because some dumbass can't scream into a pillow like she's supposed to. I'm actually a little glad he drug her out of my building by the neck. I want to say that last part was just a joke. But yeah, it wasn't even my fault....there are only so many times a man can pull his cock out of a broad's mouth before he just accepts his fate. Apparently my number hovers somewhere around 3 to none.

99 problems, son.



Not a great pic, but you don't wanna see the other ones.



Oh yeah, fuck Bill and Ted.

Cashing Out

So I'm a veteran. I'm not sure if you can tell just by looking at me, but I used to be a pretty damn good soldier....all-star status. Don't worry about it...you know you don't give a shit. It's cool. If I weren't such a fuck-up in real life, I probably would've ended up not caring about it either. But that shit happened...so let's talk about it.

I don't think I have PTSD. I'm pretty damn sure I don't (not unless you count that whole manslaughter thing). But I have my.... moments. Have you ever had that sudden moment of clarity...and realized you may be only a few steps away from living under a bridge? No? Well that's good. It's a hard reality when you realize you are way close to being that guy.

I was sitting in my room when it happened. (Surprise surprise, right?) So I'm in my chair, ....and I snapped out of whatever stupor I was in long enough to take note of my surroundings. Table full of old pizza, scattered weed, some pills, various large and ridiculous blades, plus a (plastic) bottle of vodka. I hadn't shaved in about two weeks. I have a camo-bandana holding back my shit-mess of a hairdo. Fight-music is steadily thrashing in the background. There's bottles full of piss cause I'm too lazy or fucked up to utilize stairs....and I'm chain-smoking cigars while watching some war-documentary with a gun in my hand. Yeah...soak it in. ("The sun goes down and my dick grows bigga. How many bitches wanna fuck THIS nigga?")

It's actually not as bad as it sounds I suppose; or maybe it is. I don't fucking know. That's the problem with crazy-- if you really are losing your shit, obviously your opinion becomes null and void....because you're in the process of spinning out of reality. All I'm trying to say is don't be surprised if I manage to get published in the obituaries. I'm not suicidal, but I am a realist. There's an oblong box in everyone's future. If you got a losing ticket, why not hit the button? Realistically, I'll check out as a result of some hedonistic night gone horribly wrong (on the rockstar scale, Motely Crue can't carry my junk with a crane). But if I don't meet my demise at the hands of a real-life action scene, it's because I got really bored and flipped my own monopoly board by suck-starting a 45.

No? Too much? Ok, let's try the funny-town version of that joke....

Speaking of suicide, ever wonder if it's possible to slam dunk your own head? Like, make a noose out of that cheese-wire shit. Then krazy glue your hands to your dome..... and just fuckin' hop off a building? In theory, it'd look like you actually just ripped off your own head. Like, you got so pissed you just cursed the gods, yelled, "AAAHHHHHHH" and yanked that shit off. That's pretty intense. If you put a basketball net on the ground beforehand.....it might work. How cool would that be? Yeah, you died...blah blah blah people are sad, .....but you get to slam-dunk your own fuckin' Head! You could scream out, "BOOMSHAKALAKA!" and follow it with the trademark ...bwoooooSPLAT! If you're gonna check out, that's the way to go. Make sure you eat a ton of skittles and pizza before you take the plunge. It'd be like a pinata for pedestrians. I'm all about aesthetics.

How's that for a save?

World's Worst Intro

Not too much to say here. Kudos to Mr. Lobotexxxx for such a candid and honest opening post. We are happy to be here and plan on making some wild interactive moments with this little thing we got going.

I'm Jason Taubel. I enjoy all types of beer and liquor, sports, music, and black women. Mostly everything else rubs me the wrong way. I'd love to compose a self-summary, but I'll just let the bullshit we do on here tell the story.

Stick around. Fun times on the way.