Time travel is bullshit. Not scientifically, although I am very clueless about space-time continuums or the theological/historical reprocussions of it. I mean that it's bullshit in movies. You know, concepts that don't hurt your brain when you think about them.
Thing is, I talk a big game most of the time, but truthfully, I get annoyed when I'm expected to back up my own shit.
I'm lazy. That's why time travel doesn't make any sense to me. I'm one of those people that has a lot of great ideas....but never seem to get around to anything. Actually, my ideas usually suck, but that doesn't stop me from getting nothing accomplished. Why add another dickhead to the equation simply because he's from the future? Just about every movie with people traveling through time has some sort of way these guys learn a lesson and everything seems to come up great. I don't see that working out in my world.
First of all, if you don't know me, I'm an asshole. Future-me could show up right now and I would probably treat him like a punk. Then he would get pissed off at me like the asshole he is...you see the cycle here. However, being the chill guys that we are, a truce would come around eventually. Now we're buddies....back to getting nothing done. Time to spark a dutch and get down on some cartoons and video games.
Now there's two extremely like-minded assholes sitting around running out the clock on reality. We're humorous and competitive people. Inevitably, we'll get to snapping on each other. You know when you're around friends the best jokes are the ones that hit home. The truth hurts and hurt equals funny. So when Me, Myself and I start throwing shots around; it'll get ugly. Casually enough at first, but I know me. Not only do I know me, I know all of the fucked up things I've done. So our casual back-and-forth will get heated.
-"Dude, you suck at this game."
-"Fuck off. I'm about to bam a rampkin right now o'clock, paunch."
-"Doubtful, asshole. You're predictible as hell. Get some lube...I'm about to do a rape-dance over here."
-"Nah, didn't bring any. I figured I'd just borrow the tube you used on that married bitch while her husband slept in the extra bedroom."
-"......"
-"KO mothafucker!!!"
-"...get fucked."
It was her fault the chump even woke up in the first place. For real. Good luck calling me the bad-guy because some dumbass can't scream into a pillow like she's supposed to. I'm actually a little glad he drug her out of my building by the neck. I want to say that last part was just a joke. But yeah, it wasn't even my fault....there are only so many times a man can pull his cock out of a broad's mouth before he just accepts his fate. Apparently my number hovers somewhere around 3 to none.
99 problems, son.
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Not a great pic, but you don't wanna see the other ones. |
Oh yeah, fuck Bill and Ted.
