I've noticed that black and hispanic comedians are always portraying white dudes as geeks. Uncool, funny-talkin', stiff-walkin' geeks. With their nerd-ass voice impressions like we all just give up lunch money to anyone with some ethnicity. Look at me, alright? I'm basically as white as it gets. I'm two shades up from clear...maybe three when you average out the tattoos. But seriously, I am a motherfuckin cracker.
(Which, by the way, is a dumb and shitty slur to begin with. Really? That's the best you got? Try again with your bitch-ass. Maybe something like world-raper...because that's what white people have been known to do throughout history. Trust me, I'm not happy about it either...but that's what's been going down until recent generations.)
But seriously, as white as I am...do I sound/look like a fuckin' nerd to you? I dare any of you unoriginal racists to be a little more creative. Yeah, I said racists. It's like people forgot that shit works both ways. Listen, if you are any color and you make fun of white people...it's viewed as funny. If you're white and you throw a race joke around...you're automatically in the klan.
There was actually a guy who wanted to make a scholarship for white kids to get educated...and they chastised him. The media labelled him as a racist. However, there are historically black colleges and affirmative action and all of that other crazy bigotry going on. That's bullshit, coach.
I am not a racist...my crew looks like a goddamn rainbow. That being said, I can assure you that my shit will get construed the wrong way by some tyler perry mothafucker looking to bring up some old shit. Let me tell you something...all those hardships that were atrocities to humanity...y'all didn't experience any of that. We're in a new millennium, people. Stop bringing up shit you had nothing to do with and earn your keep. I fought in a goddamn war to pay for what little college I have under my belt. The least you can do is let everybody get judged by the same standards and practices. I swear, you are all a bunch of morons.
...And by the way, I hope somebody comes up to me thinking all white people are scared little nerds. You will figure out quick, fast, and in a hurry that this little cracker will shoot and/or stab you in the face quicker than any spic, nigger, chink, or camel-jockey can even fathom. Wanna know why? It's because personality traits are not limited by the color of your skin. Please...try and say I'm wrong about anything I just said. I guarantee you will either walk away feeling stupider...or get carted away feeling bloodier.
@Kyle Grooms
@Tyler Perry
@Carlos Mencia
@George Lopez
...and many more that I can't think of at the moment. Yeah, I know it's all jokes...and I can respect that. However, I'm also allowed to think you suck at what you do.
Sincerely,
Ryan Sullivan
...Get Fucked.
