There's another made-up excuse to drink coming up soon. I don't know what St. Patrick's day is about...and it apparently affects my life in no real way whatsoever....so it's made-up. The only way I'm ever aware of this particular event is because shit just starts turning green all over the place. You end up saying to yourself, "Oh shit, yeah, it IS March. I'm probably about to get pretty hammered real soon. I'd better start calling people." Hi, my name is Ryan Sullivan.... Anyway, Irish as hell, right? I think "Ryan" means something in Irish (ha!..."in Irish" he says), but it sounds like it does anyway; same deal with "Sullivan" too (and there's a ton of those people by the way). Regardless, I look pretty damn Italian. I also talk like a black, surfer, thug/asshole and I have little to no sense of my family's history. It's not a me-thing. My family gets along, but we barely care where we all came from. Work, go to bed, who gives a shit, right? I'm saying all of that to say this: I'm not sure I could care any less about my ethnic makeup.
As far as my friends are concerned, I have a vague idea of some of their ethnicities... I suppose. You can only really tell anymore because their pretend-holidays are different. It doesn't really matter though because "Everybody is Irish on St. Patty's Day". The running joke being that the Irish are drunks. So if everybody parties up, we can all have headaches tomorrow morning. It's either a genius plot or completely retarded.
I love the headaches, by the way. It's a dumb holiday, but everyone does get tuned up for it...just like every other fake reason out there. It all boils down to finding excuses to drink socially I guess. Maybe not Ramadan, but that's their own fault. I just love seeing everybody get wrecked for no real reason but acting like it's supposed to happen anyway.
(Note: Before I get called racist, I've gotten drunk with my fair share of muslims in actual muslim countries. Fun fact...go around the world a few times and you eventually realize everybody happens to be the same kinds of shitty regardless of geographic proximity.)
I'm not knocking it. Well, I am, but I get hammered every year anyway. I guess that makes me a hypocrite. Whatever. At least I'm Irish.
While I'm at it, birthdays too. What? You didn't die another year? You did what every other human being does until they don't do it anymore? Good job, asshole. Get better at something a little more worthwhile.
